Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Fight, Fight, Fight, Fight!

Hey look, I'm back. I got really bored with the show because every episode was pretty cut and dry and you could predict what was going to happen beat by beat. But after the goings on in the house this week, and the recap I read, I thought that this was a good of episode as any to jump back into it. The PMS levels were at an all time high, and I was laughing from start to finish. Great episode.

-Dan has grown on me more and more every week and the way he played the Americas Player task this week was perfect. His mugging to the camera was incredibly well timed, and his diary room talking head to go along with it was just as good. Dan has found a place in my heart and I want that 14 year old boy to make it to the final two.

-I did like the fact that Jesse was trying to stir the pot and get the plastics to scratch each others eyes out. I really admire that. I'd probably try and do the same thing. The shitty thing for Jesse is he doesn't understand that he's a huge asshole and no one in the house likes him. So rather than getting the heat off him and trying to perhaps sway the vote, which as I'm typing this doesn't make sense, because if Libra and Keesha were mad at April then it would make sense for them to vote against her wishes. So it seems like a pretty lose/lose situation. Anyway he pretty much buried himself, and that's sweet. Steven and Angie don't look so fucking bad right now do they idiots. Third times a charm, so we'll see what happens with the America swing vote.

-I had such high hopes for Jerry but week after week he turns into nothing more than a useless, shriveled up old tattle tale. There was no reason what so ever for him to run into the plastics room and interrupt them just to make sure they knew that Memphis was enjoying the ridiculousness of the whole thing. For one, it was funny. Why shouldn't Memphis laugh. The heat is being taken off him and he knows it. I would find the humor too in something that petty and insane. And two, who the fuck cares. Really. The whole house should have been making fun of the situation. I hate to say it but Jerry needs to be put on an iceberg and sent out to sea like thousands of other old, useless people before him.

-I'm not quite sure who, if anybody came out looking the best from that fight. I didn't mind Libra standing up for herself, but once again she got way too defensive for no reason. Angry Black Women syndrome, which she assured us before entering the house that she did not suffer from, was in full effect as always.
I also didn't mind Keesha standing up for herself, and she did make some valid points about the way April treats her, but her incessant swearing made her look immature and dumb (pot calling kettle black I know, but my swearing is a literary device, I'm not trying to work out problems with people I live with).
And April, I'm not even sure. She didn't really have a chance to get a word in edge wise, which is probably a good thing for her. She handled the whole thing terribly. I think the best thing for her to do would be to call Keesha and Libra up seperately and talk things out one and one. No need to make a gigantic scene. Who am I kidding they're all drama queens. Why expect anything less.

-The feeble attempt to celebrate Keesha's birthday was hilarious. It felt like one of those awkward birthday parties where your dad passes out in the middle of the floor with his hand down his pants, and everyone tries to ignore it and step over him. At least she'll never forget her 30th birthday.
Speaking of her turning 30, at what age does it become awkward to still be working at Hooters? My guess would be like 27, 28, but I guess it's different on an individual by individual basis.

-The veto competition looked fun, and being a patriotic Canadian it once again made me mad that Canadians are not invited to try out for the show. I would have owned that comp.
Michelle got way too excited when she won something that was obviously going to be taken away. Clearly that asshole has no idea how Yankee Swap works.
I like that gold bar twist. I think they should start doing that more often. Instead of lame luxury comps where they get to watch movies, have money comps. People do crazy shit when a large sum of money is dangling in front of them. The thought of people buying their way out of nominations or buying a veto seems really compelling.

-And speaking of the comp, I didn't think anyone was ever going to top BB8 Jen when it came to being a fucking annoying crybaby, but congratulations Michelle, you take the cake! What a sore loser. Her reaction was priceless, and had me laughing out loud. She even called Libra a whore slut skank or something like that which was really topped things off nicely. And how fucking old is she? She turns her back to the camera because she didn't win a prize. Grow the fuck up. I hope her family and friends were really embarressed by how poorly she acted. There was no need for her to call Libra all sorts of names just because she chose a Hawaiian vacation over a letter from home. Sure she has kids, but from what I remember her twins were newborns. Does she really need to hear about how much they poop and cry and sleep? Probably not. I'd rather take my family to Hawaii too. That's a way better prize. I'd also rather wear a unitard than be on slop all week, so Michelle should count her blessings.

The Alliance Of Everyone seems to have broken off into a few different factions, and I'm so glad. Hopefully we can now see people playing for themselves and not trying to appease the whole group. The second half of this season seems to be heading in the right direction. It's gotten back to what Big Brother was supposed to be. I say fuck yeah to that. Live eviction tomorrow and barring any wild developments over the next 24 hours it looks like Jesse should finally be going home. Terrorist fist jab to that.

Monday, July 28, 2008

See You At The Competition, Hope You Lose

From what I was reading on the blogs, I figured this show would be filled to the brim with Jesse. Luckily enough it wasn't, but I had to hear far more Keesha than I ever wanted to. Her shrill voice and her slight twang make my ears hurt. But don't worry Jesse fans, I'm certain that tomorrow is actually going to be the Jesse show. Hold on to your caps for that one. But for now, all my hatred is directed toward the hens, but mostly Kessha.

-Jerry saying "suck it bitches" sounded really, really funny. I'm not surprised that Michelle took it so personally, after all she has to include herself in everything in one way or another. But it was clearly a joke. Lighten up.

-I think Dan is giving himself way too much credit. He somehow managed to stay out of the way this week, mainly because Keesha has some kind of unabashed hatred toward Angie. As much as it may seem to Dan that his ploy is working better than he could have imagined, I'm pretty sure the ghost of Brian will get him next week. Because, as I've said before, these people can't seem to get over it. And they also seem to want to get rid of the floaters, so making himself look utterly useless isn't helping his cause. And he's using this weak player garbage as a huge crutch. Now every time he loses a competition, he's going to chalk it up as incredible strategy and game play. Give me a break. You're shitty at the comps. Deal with it. Find another way to make moves.

-Keesha was complaining about how she couldn't even vote for Steven to stay, because otherwise their would be a huge target on her. I don't understand why one pitty vote to a friend of yours automatically makes you public enemy number one. What ever happened to 4-3 votes, or 5-2, etc. Now it seems like everyone in the house MUST vote the exact same way, or else they are gone next week. I can't wait for this "Ultimate 8 Alliance" to completely self destruct. That will be fun to watch.

-Keesha made a comment about how Dan is a really big threat to their 8 person alliance. What? You really think that one person is going to be able to take down all 8 of you? The math doesn't even make sense. At most he'd be able to take one person out, before being put up and evicted the next week. This entire house alliance is so paranoid that everyone is out to get them, it's unreal. Actually I take that back. It's just Libra/Keesha/Ollie/April who are the paranoid ones. I don't even know if the rest of the house knows they're in an alliance with them anymore.

-Keesha came up with a lot of excuses as to who she was going to nominate, and why. I have no idea how she reasons that Angie was the sole reason Steven got evicted. What did she let him take the fall for? Being friends with Brian? Neither Angie nor Steven had anything to do with Steven going home really. It's still that ridiculous Brian kick everyone is on.
She also stated numerous times that Angie did nothing to help Steven stay, and she left the whole thing on Keesha's shoulders. A couple things, one, do you not remember the one time Angie campainged to keep a friend in the house? Keesha sold her out on that one, and she's still paying for it. Why would she want to put herself out there even more? And two, Keesha did jack shit other than telling Libra and April how much she likes Steven and how Dan is somehow more of a threat. She didn't even vote for him to stay. She clearly couldn't come up with a strategic reason as to why Angie is a huge threat to her at this point in the game, and she was trying to cover up what is obviously a personal, and spiteful nomination.

-It always makes me laugh when HOH's claim they're going to "change the game" or "turn the house upside down!" You know that shit never comes to fruition. Especially when you're in an 8 person alliance. All those 8 people know more or less what you are going to do, since they were the ones making the suggestions. The only way Keesha would have been able to turn the house "upside down" is by somehow nominating herself and Brian for eviction. That sure as shit would have shocked the house. Nominating Angie, who you openly hate, and Jesse, who everyone but Jesse openly hates shouldn't come as a huge blow or surprise to anyone. The majority is going to be cool with shit like that.

-I can't stand how cocky Libra is getting. Sure she's paranoid that everyone, including herself, is out to get her, but her horse just keeps getting higher and higher as the weeks go by and she pulls the strings. I can't believe they've let her slide for 2 weeks, when over half the house was openly campaigning for her to go.

-Staying with Libra, I really liked when she was talking to Keesha, and she told her that if Keesha watches out for her this week, that she'll have Keesha's back next week. Well no shit. I thought you guys were in an alliance together. Doesn't that mean you should automatically have each others back, no questions asked? Maybe Libra knows Keesha is on to her, and she's trying to save face. Am I giving her too much credit? Probably.

-I noticed this episode, more than any other, how fake April is. She turns her charm on when she can use it to her advantage and you can see right through that shit. Every time she was up in the HOH she spent the whole time complimenting Keesha and stroking her ego. Ugh. Please just vote her out already. She's more and more useless every day.

-Renny is a lot smarter than I think we all give her credit for. She's learned to stay in the background, but pop up and talk to people when the time is right. She'll never win a competition, but if someone is dumb enough to take her to the final 2 with them, then she is pretty much a shoe in. Her and Memphis are my top picks right now.

-I like Memphis more and more with each episode. He had the smartest quote of the season so far when he told Keesha "There's a lot of people that are threats to a lot of people at this point." Fucking thank you. Keesha's thinly vailed attempt to not look spiteful towards Angie completely missed the mark with Memphis. He seems like one of the only people in this game that ever uses logic and common sense. Upon first glance, or should I say first meet the house guests, I had an unwarranted disgust for this guy. But now, I want him to toss 500,000 dollars in the back of the Camaro and ride off into the sunset.

-And speaking of his Camaro, there is no fucking way that car is worth $50,000. April has no idea what she's talking about. At most I'd say $35,000. In the same breath April muttered this idocracy, she also talked about how much America would love Keesha if she booted out Memphis, who I guess in their minds is a huge scumbag for winning a prize. It's always really funny how out of touch the HG's are with America. I'm pretty sure everyone wants Libra and Jesse out. She also complained how unfair it would be if Memphis won the prize money and a car. Why is that unfair? He played the game better than all of you and won shit. That's how games work. That's like telling the New York Giants they can't play for the Super Bowl next season, because they already won it. She gave me terrible Sheila flashbacks, talking about how it's unfair when you win shit and no one else does. Fuck off.

-I do have to give very small props to Libra. She covered her ass pretty well when Keesha confronted her about all the shit talking. Instead of getting all defensive like I'm sure we all thought she would, she deflected it by bringing up Steven, which made Keesha instantly forget what they were talking about. I hate to say it, but Libra has a legitimate shot at winning this whole thing if she can keep her shit flinging and tantrums to a minimum.

-April LOVES the 60's, when clearly it was a 50's themed food competition.

-Ollie and April were hilarious in their inability to communicate. And Renny was god damn useless. It must have been so easy for Dan to play the shitty competitor role with her as his partner.

-I can live without any and all of the Ollie/April relationship bullshit they stuck in there. It went on for far too long, and it added nothing to show. We know they're fucking. We can move on now, thanks.

-Surprisingly Jesse made really good points to Keesha when he was talking about the nominations. He laid everything out on the table in a way that even Keesha could comprehend. There is only a few problems with that though. Jesse comes across way too strong. He makes a point, and then continues to repeat the same shit over and over and over again, until it seems like he's bullying the house guest he's talking to. And the fact that Keesha is playing purely on emotion, and never once took her sights off Angie didn't help anything. But at least Jesse tried. I will give him that.

-Every year we always get that one HOH that bitches and moans about how hard it is to make these nominations. Keesha was almost in tears when she was explaining herself. I don't understand why. You know coming into the game that his has to happen every single week, and at some point or another, everyone is going to be nominated. They know it's coming. You know it's coming. Why is it so hard to say "nothing personal, but with you in the house, I don't think I can win this game". Stop making it so personal.

-While Keesha was explaining why she nominated Jesse and Angie, once again Brian came up. I am willing to put money on the fact that Brian will be brought up in one way or another as to why the final 2 did/did not win the money. Brian is automatically the best player in BB history. He has had more impact on the house without even being in it, than any other player.

-And lastly Jesse has my vote for quote of the season when he came up with this gem "See you at the competition, hope you lose". We all knew he was as sore loser, but wow. I remember reading some pre interview with the house guests and Jesse said something along the lines of "I'm going to try and win everyone over with my personality and my humor, rather than my strength." Well what the fuck happened to that? If Jesse has a good personality and any remnants of a sense of humor I would hate to fucking see his family, or the boys he rolls with. I can't even imagine any scenario where Jesse intentionally makes people laugh, or enjoy being in his company.

I know that tomorrows episode is going to be my favorite all season, because we'll get to hear Jesse bitch and moan for a full 45 minutes. Thank god I don't watch the feeds.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Suck It Bitches

I'm really behind with my shit here. I got lazy, and for whatever reason I'm not that into this season, as compared to the others. Even last season I couldn't wait to see what idiot said what idiotic thing. But I'm just not as compelled this season. Maybe because every episode has focused on all the people that I hate. And the fact that the people I do like either aren't playing the game enough, or sit outside in their bikini and smoke all day. I still keep up via feed updates on various sites, but the shows themselves have lost a lot of luster. Anyway here's my thoughts on the eviction show.

-Keesha sounds like Fran Dresher without the New York accent. I would probably smother her in her sleep if I had to put up with that day in and day out.

-The hens keep talking about getting rid of the floaters. Why? It's so early in the game. Recruit the floaters and use them to your advantage. Idiots.

-Ollie and April are absolutely useless, and bring nothing to the game. The only thing they are good for is a vote in whichever way Libra is leaning. They're like parrots. They just repeat back what Libra says to them. Actually that's just April. Ollie just follows April around and gives her the goods at night.

-The whole "friends with Brian" argument gets more and more ludicrous every week. He's been gone for 2 fucking weeks. Get over it. Is he somehow pulling the strings of Angie/Dan/Steven from outside the house? Clearly his ghost must haunt the house because those assholes just won't let it die. Why is everyone so mad at Brian anyway? He played way too hard, and thought he ran the shit from day one, but he didn't target ANY of the hens. He went after Jesse and Renny because that was the easiest option for everybody. Shouldn't they be the ones looking for some kind of retribution, for what reason I don't know because in the end neither got evicted and they rid the house of Brian, but at least that would make a tiny bit of sense.

-I can't believe the hens didn't take Steven's offer to join with them. Granted you can never trust anyone in the house and he could have easily turned on them the first chance he got, but that's part of the game. I don't see why they wouldn't take a chance and add a strong player to their team and get rid of one of the floaters they so desperately wanted out. Steven's arguments made nothing but good sense, and still they talked bad about him. Unreal.

-I love Libra's constant thought process, in where anybody hanging out with anybody is automatically in an alliance and they are gunning solely for Libra and her cronies. Why a supposed 6 or 7 or whatever person alliance is so scared of a 2 person alliance is well beyond my comprehension. And the fact that there is nothing wrong with Ollie and April hanging off each other 24/7, yet anybody being friends with anybody else is some kind of death wish at the hands of Libra is really hilarious.

-I also loved when Kessha told her alliance "They're turning us against each other". Did I miss something? As far as I've seen and or read, no one has conspired that hard against you. Steven and Jesse rallied hard for Libra to be nominated last week, but that's about it. Kessha was the one complaining day and night about how much of a puppet master Libra is and how much she stirs the pot. The hens are the ones who lock themselves in their bedroom and bitch and complain about everyone, because they think that obviously the entire house is out to get them. They've gotten so far into their own heads they've become incredibly dillusional. Actually Libra was already well past that point before she ever stepped foot into the house.

-Keesha had another genius quote when she said "Dan is going to come after us." Well no fucking shit. 1. You guys are in a big, and mind bogglingly powerful alliance. So of course people are going to want to break that shit up. And 2. It's a game where the object is to nominate and evict a house guest every week until there is only one person left. Well two people and then the house votes, but you know what I mean. Dan is going to eventually have to either nominate someone from your alliance or vote against someone from your alliance, otherwise the game doesn't work. Common sense here people.

-My memory is a little fuzzy sometimes, but when did Big Brother turn into survivor? It seems like now it's mandatory for something to divide the house into two groups, and thou shalt not cross that divide line without persecution. Remember the old days when everyone was free to be friends with everyone else. And people had 5 different deals with 5 different people at any given time? When house guests could use a different strategy and align themselves with different people depending on what was going on in the game at that moment. When the house is divided into two large groups it makes for boring game play, because everything becomes painfully obvious, and it's a terrible strategy. The game changes day to day, and if you are stuck in one alliance, and you can't adapt, then you're never going to win.

-Ollie looked really nervous when Julie was asking questions about him and April, because you know dude feels guilty for fucking inside the house. But I think everyone should give that motherfucker some slack. I read all this shit about "Oh your parents must be so dissapointed" oh blah blah blah supposed good christian, blah blah blah. For one thing, dude is a 27 year old man who has never gotten his dick wet. As if anybody out there, put in his same position would be like, no April, you're hot but I don't want to bang you right here on the floor of the spa. Give me a break. And everyone is acting like they fucked on the living room couches in the middle of the day, while the house watched. They are in an unnatural situation and they worked with what they had. They were completely covered. You couldn't see anything. You couldn't really hear anything, other than the fact that April wanted the baby batter on her stomach because she doesn't want to get preggers. So give them a break. People like to fuck. I know, it's such an alarming concept. Hide your children from these incredibly sinful people. Get over it.

-Steven seems like a funny motherfucker. I didn't get any of his inside jokes in his speech before the votes, but the house sure seemed to like it. Why is it Libra's mission to get rid of all the fun people in the house? Does she feel like she should be the funny one? And she's trying to claim her territory? Is she one of those people that you can't have fun around unless she's a direct part of it? Whatever the case may be it seems like they're slowly crushing any soul the house had, and making it look to be a boring ass summer for everyone else in the house.

-Jesse's goodbye message to Steven was everything I could have hoped for. It's too bad they edit those things down to a couple of seconds, because you know that asshole went on for like 5 minutes talking about how awesome his muscles are, and how big of an inspiration he is to people out there like Steven. Nothing is impossible! He makes his case about being more than just a giant lump of muscle stronger everyday by constantly talking about how hella big he is. Bravo Jesse. You're a hero to many. Reach for the stars!

-10 seasons in and Julie still has the same sterile delivery of her lines. You'd think by now she'd act a little more natural, and not sound like she is reading word for word off a teleprompter. Time for a fresh new host? Actually we'd probably end up with some douchebag that thinks he's Ryan Seacrest or something. Or even worse, get stuck with Diane or Natalie or someone in the upper echelon of annoying. I don't watch housecalls but I'm sure Gretchen would be a fine host. But I guess I can live with Julie for now. As long as I only have to see her once a week.

I'll be back later with my rants and raves about tonights episode, which will no doubt be the Jesse show. I'm buzzing with excitement....

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Episode 5 AKA Michelle The Big Portugese Idiot

A little more drama in this episode than the last few, which always makes things interesting. Michelle, Libra and Jessie make me want to poke my eyes out. But still, this season is shaping up to be way better than season 9.

-Why does Jessie use air quotes all the god damn time. I'm "the youngest person" in the house. There is no time where air quotes actually make sense in that sentence, unless he's really not the youngest person in the house, and everyone for whatever reason assumes he is. That's the only way air quotes would work.

-Jessie claims he's not a target? What? Did I miss something? He's a big dumb baffoon who loves himself to pieces, and who has won power of veto and HOH back to back. There should be at least 9 targets on him at all times. Idiot.

-I think Dan, as dumb as his strategy looks, is playing it pretty smart. He's making himself look weak and out of the loop, which going by what we've seen so far with these houses guests is a great strategy. He's got an in with Jessie, which also gives him an in with Memphis and Angie. As long as he doesn't become Jessie's whipping boy, he should last at least 3 or 4 more weeks. I'm also glad that Dan has not once brought some kind of religious propoganda into anything he's said or done really. I was so worried that he was going to be a male version of BB9 Natalie.

-Michelle told Jessie she expected a showmance? Lets be real here. She looks like a god damn muppet. If she considers herself to be an 8 or 9 I'd really hate to see the other chicks from Rhode Island. Sheesh.

-I think Memphis is my favorite right now. He was smart in alliging with Jessie, as he is the strongest physical threat. I don't know if Jessie has ever mentioned that but I think I'm onto something here. I hate Jessie and Michelle, but I doubt they will turn on him unless he does something drastic. And he made an incredibly smart move by bring Angie into it. He nailed it right on the head when he told her she was a smart, sensible player who has her game face on. Dude also seems very level headed, and is the voice of reason for Jessie and Michelle. He doesn't play by emotions, because as he said in a previous episode he was born without them, so I would be incredibly surprised if he doesn't make it to at least the final 5. Unless someone figures him out and sees how strong he really is. But looking at the people he's not aligned with, this is very unlikely.

-I've started to change my mind on Renny a bit. She's still an old kook who dresses ridiculous and makes no sense what so ever when she talks, but I'm so glad she toned her shit down. She seems way less annoying now than on the first couple days. I also like the fact that she likes to stir the pot and just sit back and watch everyone fight everyone else. Granted that's going to backfire on her incredibly badly (i.e LIBRA), but it's fun to watch.

-I see why alliances work for a small amount of time, but I've never understood why people are so surprised/shocked/hurt when people in said alliances think outside the box, and do what's better for them individually. Last time I checked this is not a team game, so if you're basing your entire strategy on the way your 4 or 5 person alliance says how things should go, you might as well just pack your shit because the team mentality never works.

-I'm pretty sure Keesha has dug herself into a hole that she can't get back out of. April(and Ollie by association), Libra, and Michelle don't like her now because of her friendship with Steven. She doesn't bring anything to an alliance other than a vote, so I can't see the Memphis/Angie alliance taking her in. She's not the friendliest or most level headed person in the house, so I'm not sure if she's going to make a bond with anyone now that Steven is gone. It looks like she's secluded herself on a pretty lonely island for the time being. What a waste of a spot in the game.

-I really love Jerry. He tells it like it is and doesn't hold back. I think the entire house is severly underestimating Jerry. He's never going to win a physical competition, but I think he has a really good idea on how to turn people against each other, and use that to his advantage. The Memphis/Angie(I'm refusing to include Jessie or Michelle because they're just going to be used by those Memphis to make it far in the game) alliance should include Jerry in some of their plans. Don't directly take him in and tell him everything because shit would end up leaking out. But get him to vote with you, nominate in your favor, use the veto, etc.

-Michelle is just plain retarded. Steven came up to her in the HOH and explained to her a pretty foolproof plan with using the veto, and getting Libra out of the house. It was a no risk situation. You take either Steven or Dan down, Jessie puts Libra up. Libra gets votes from April and Ollie, and the rest of the house boots her out. Now the house is happy since there is a lot less shit flinging. You can now use Dan AND Steven to your advantage. And the only people that would look for retribution for Libra departing are Ollie/April. April isn't going to win HOH and all Ollie wants to do is fuck. They aren't even playing the game. But she clearly has no sense of strategy or logic. And now instead of having a strong ally in Steven, you now still have a huge threat in Libra who is going to continue to annoy everyone and turn everyone against each other. I have no fucking idea what she was thinking. And I have no idea how Libra managed to cast some kind of shadow over the entire house, making them think that everyone who ever talked to Brian is either some kind of incredibly strong player, or has a vendetta to vote every other person out of the house in some kind of post Brian fit of revenge.

Live eviction tonight. Sad to see Steven go this early. He had potential. He was also the first gay guy on BB in recent memory that wasn't incredibly flamboyant and annoying. I pray that anyone but Libra/Angie/Ollie win HOH. I'll include Keesha in that grouping too, because she has no idea what she's doing, which makes her incredibly unpredictable. I'll probably have another post on here tonight after the eviction. Unless I get stoned and forget.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Let The Tools Reign Down

While watching Sunday's episode, here are just a few thoughts that popped into my brain.

-Steven had it completely correct when he called Jessie a tool numerous times. "Everyone thinks I'm just a gigantic mass of useless show muscle, but I beat everyone in chess, therefore, I smarter". Gripping argument. You're so good at a game of strategy, yet, you completely miss Dan's none too subtle attempt to talk to you alone. Dan might as well have been waving a sign directly in front of Jessie saying "LETS GO TALK GAME IN YOUR ROOM ALONE, NOT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE." Even then, he probably still would have missed it. And how dare Steven shit on Jessie's face like that by not coming up to see the exact same room he saw last week, sans the pictures of Jerry. The nerve of some people. I could probably dedicate an entire post to how much of an asshat Jessie is, just in this episode alone. But I will certainly be glad when he gets ridden through the game, and then tossed aside without hesitation come final 3. Or if he gets voted out next week. Either way.

-I like Keesha a lot more after this episode. Other than the fact that she's one of those insane animal people, pretty much everything she said this episode was on point. She needs to stop calling April a Barbie bitch though, considering their look is almost identical.

-Jessie's French accent sounded like a terrible Water Boy impression.

-As much as I'm not a Renny fan, I'm pretty sure she's done just as good, if not better in competitions than Libra has, so again, pot calling kettle black. I wish Jessie would push her through one of the walls or something. I also can't wait till Libra and April scratch each others eyes out. Gotta love slop.

-I like the Steven, Dan, Angie alliance more and more everyday. It will be so shitty to see Steven go this early. Memphis needs to switch sides post haste, and they need to recruit Renny and Jerry. If they can win a few in a row then hopefully we'll be rid of Jessie, Libra and April in no time.

-I thought Dan was kind of a douche for the first little bit, but he's a lot more solid than I gave him credit for. If he can make some smart moves and team up with the right people at the right time, I can see him going very far.

- I had such high hopes for Ollie at the beginning and thought he was going to silently tear through the game. Boy was I wrong. What a pussy whipped bitch. All he cares about is appeasing April, and we all know how well that works out for everyone involved. Jerry said it best when he said they're just here to fuck.

-I can't believe no one sees how Libra is doing the exact same thing Brian was doing last week. She's going about it a little smarter, and only working on people on her team, but it's essentially the same thing. She's either going to use them all as her little puppets and go incredibly far in the game, or, if I could have my way, they'll all turn on her in the coming weeks, nay, days and vote her constantly complaining about everything ass out of there.

-And speaking of Brian, how the hell did he manage to divide the house so incredibly against each other. I mean yeah he played way too hard, way too fast and he was definetly the obvious choice to vote out, but come on. He seemed like a nice guy on a personal level. Why all of a sudden are his friends being treated like they have leprosy? It's been one god damn week. The door was just barely locked before this huge divide happened. The self righteous people definetly should have looked at that alliance as more of an oppurtunity than anything. The ring leader is gone, and they know his friends have loyalty, why not use that to your advantage and get them to join with you?

Ta ta till Tuesday.

And We're Off.

Solid episode tonight. Looks like we're in for a decent season if it keeps up like this. I'll try and keep this one brief.

-Brian was way too fucking cocky. I'm surprised he doesn't talk in third person all the time. It's the first god damn week. There is way too many people in the house to have a secret alliance with everyone. Shit's going to leak out eventually. And don't act like you're running the house either. The nominations were pretty fucking obvious. It was the easiest out for Jerry.

-Michelle is one of those annoying tom boys who never grew out of that shit. "I can take on all the guys, any time." Jessie could toss you over the wall if he wanted to. Pretty sure you'd lose 9 out of 10 physical competitions to that guy. I really hope she gets way too into one of the competitions and bursts a blood vessel in her eye or something.

-April looks really good in a bikini, heels, a skirt, a dress, etc.

-Renny makes no sense at all. She reminds me of that one drunk Aunt that always embarrasses everyone at family reunions or weddings.

-Jerry is still a bad ass.

-I still don't understand why they all hug after nominations, veto ceremony's, evictions, when Jerry takes a shit, after someone works out, etc. It's like playing the game is the hardest thing they've ever had to go through in their whole lives.

The live eviction show is tomorrow. My guess is Brian will be voted out, and Ollie, Angie or Memphis win HOH.

(Originally posted July 15)

And So It Begins.

I get super gay for Big Brother every summer. Get over it. My dad did, so I'm sure you can too.
Tonight was the first episode of season 10. As much as I love the show I can't believe this shit has been on the air for 10 seasons. I guess when the only other thing on the network is 14 different CSI's you have to spice things up a little bit.
Anyway I hate 3/4 of these people already, and here's my first impression of them.

April- She is blonde with huge boobs. What's not to like? Other than the fact that she has OCD to the tenth degree, and her eyes kind of freak me out, I'd stick it in her without hesitation. She seems nice enough and will most likely make it far.

Jerry- Jerry is so badass it's unbelievable. Dude is 75 years old and was grabbing tit within the first hour in the house. He's a former Marine so you know he can fuck shit up with his bare hands. God willing he isn't the first death on live TV, he'll probably make it to at least the final three.

Dan- Seems like kind of a douche. He's that "cool guy" teacher that we all had at one point or another in high school, that ends up banging a 14 year old in the back of his Sunfire and gets fired for improper conduct. He also claims to be really religious, which I'm sure already makes him a giant hypocrite.

Libra- We're going interracial! She has new born twins and guess what color they are? If you guessed one was black and one was white then you must live in Liberal America where that shit is commonplace. She's clearly black however, leaving her four month old babies at home so she can go on TV. I already know I'm not going to like her, just for the fact that she has a stripper name.

Renny- She's that mom that would always come to her kids parties, a wine bottle and a half deep, and think it's perfectly acceptable to be one of the gang (I'm looking at you Ruth). Her insane "Nawlens" accent pisses me off incredibly. And her "wacky" style makes her look like a clown. I hope she goes home within the first 2 weeks, but knowing big brother the most annoying people stay to the bitter, bitter end.

Ollie- Son of a preacher man. Other than the fact that he's crazy religious (he's never drank or smoked or ever had a girlfriend) Ollie is probably going to make it far in the game, as long as he leaves his Jesus bullshit at the door. He's definitely going to have a night where he gets completed smashed off a wine cooler, has an orgy with half the women, and punches out Jerry.

Steven- Gay Rodeo Cowboy. Do I really have to put anything else?

Brian- He sells cell phones but tried to cleverly disguise it by using a lot of big words. Like petroleum transportation engineer. Or Sandwich Artist. He seems way too sure of himself, and if Big Brother has taught us anything it's that either A. He's going to get himself in trouble by running his mouth. Or B. He's going to stay in the game and annoy the shit out of me for weeks on end with his constant self congratulation. We'll see how this one unfolds.

Memphis- His real name is Robert, he's not from Tennessee and he's not a bartender he's a "mixologist". If that doesn't scream douche than I don't know what does. I hope they fly banners over the house like in previous seasons, and the plane crashes directly on him.

Angie- Now let me throw this out here. I'm not into Asian chicks at all. I'm almost anti Asian chicks for the most part. There are exceptions however. Angie is way hot. And I'm pretty sure she's only like 3/4 Asian anyway. Her dad was probably a G.I. I hope she sticks around all summer, as to provide me with spank bank material.

Keesha- She's that chick who is average looking but throws a bottle of peroxide in her hair, adds extensions and fake eyelashes and too much makeup and thinks she's fooling everyone. She's a Hooters waitress which is a very noble profession, but her voice is god damn annoying. And anyone white person with the name Keesha most likely grew up in a trailer or a broken home. If she makes it past week 5 I'll be surprised.

Jessie- I'll call him Roid for short because dude is jacked. He could literally crush everyone in the house with his bare hands if he so chose. He seems like a real bitch though and is probably going to get on everyones bad side within a matter of days. He's totally that kid who had little to no friends in high school because he's socially retarded so he turned to lifting weights( I'm looking at you Kwis Perwinki) His only hope of winning is if he "accidentally" pulls down one of the structures used for competitions and kills everyone simultaneously.

Michelle- We all know that one person who is so obsessed with the fact that they have some kind of strong cultural background, that they feel the need to bring it up in every other sentence (John). The first words out of this bitches mouth were "Hi I'm Michelle. Blah blah blah, PORTUGUESE!" Yeah, we get it. Your parents/grandparents/second cousins were born in another country. We'd probably all have been better off if they would have stayed there.

And so begins another summer of Big Brother. I'm probably going to post my gripes about these assholes on here 3 times a week so get used to it.

(Originally posted July 14. I was posting these on another blog, so the dates are going to be wonky for the first few posts)